My Trip To Cleveland (How I Missed My Flight)

So I have stated in the past that I work for a pretty decent sized plumbing and industrial wholesaler. I mainly do residential plumbing sales with a little bit of commercial plumbing and some industrial mixed in just to make it exciting.
Well a couple of months ago I was selected from the salesmen at my branch to go back to Elyria, Ohio to a major tool manufacturer's headquarters and do some training. The training dealt with how their tools operated and what the major selling points of each tool was. The training was set for Monday through Thursday of this week.
Monday was supposed to be a simple travel day. Not for Nate. I woke up at 5 am that morning and hit the shower, knowing it would wake me up. J9 accompanied me to the airport in Portland which is about 45 minutes away. I made it to the airport in time to meet up with a couple of guys from our Portland branch that were also attending the training. We all boarded the plane headed for beautifully overcast Phoenix, Arizona. We were supposed to have a one hour layover in Phoenix and then board the flight for Cleveland. This is where things turned from good to not so good.
We landed in Phoenix and I proceeded to hit the pisser. Afterwards I tried to meet up with the other guys at the Fox Sports Bar. Worst. Bar. Ever.
A little backstory; About a year ago a law was passed in Washington state making it illegal to smoke in public places that are indoor. Bars, Restaurants, and whathaveyou all stopped being smokey and stinky. Verdict: Awesome!
Anyhoo, the people of Phoenix aren't really concerned with the quality of their air. This bar was packed with the oldest bar crowd I have ever seen smoking cigarettes like they were outlawing them at the end of the hour. The guys I was with, being smokers themselves, thought nothing wrong with this and headed into the bar.
Me myself and I hit up the smoke free Gordon Beirsch right down for the Fox Smoke Bar and enjoyed one of the worst $7 pints in the history of man. After such a tasty beverage, I was capital H hungry. Pizza Hut, here I come.
After devouring a personal sized pepperoni I was thirsty again. Not wanting another crappy $7 brewski I hit up the local Starbucks a.k.a. The Dark Side.
If these motherfuckers knew how to make a caramel Frappacino I would've been in Cleveland at 6 pm, Ohio time. When did I get there? I'm getting there, keep your pants on! (except you Jessica Alba)
So anyways I'm walking out of Starbucks and happen to glance up to see:

CLEVELAND : DEPARTED

FUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!

I ran faster than a crackhead with a Franklin towards gate A18. My flight was gone. I headed back up the walkway and found Customer Service. They didn't have another flight going to Cleveland until 6 am the next morning. Problem? I had training starting at 8 am. With the four hour flight and the three hour time change I just don't think I could make that.
I told them I had to be there at that time and they decided to re-route me through Sin City. Five hours later.... And then I had a three hour layover in Vegas before making my way to Cleveland.
After talking to my step-sister, who just so happens to live in Vegas, I had them change my flight there to another that was two hours earlier. I was to arrive in Vegas about a half hour after Jill got off work.
She came and picked me up, we went and had dinner, hung out at her place and then she took me back to the airport.
I arrived at the gate for my flight to Cleveland about a half hour early and easily made it onto my plane after taking two Tylenol PM's to make me sleep. Well the drunken teenager behind me had other ideas. He kept yelling to his buddies "Rectum.............. Hell it just about Killed 'em" which he followed with the most annoying laughter evah.
I was able to get a couple of hours of sleep, arriving in Cleveland at 6 am. The tool company's rep. picked me up at the airport about a half hour after that and we were off to the hotel. I made it there in time to wash my face, brush my teeth, drop off my bags, and throw on my steel-toed boots and head to training.
What did I learn from this experience? Only go to the Tilted Kilt in the Rio. Not the stand alone.