Friday, September 08, 2006

OUTRAGE

So, here I sit, 7:15 on a Friday afternoon, approximately 11 hours and 15 minutes after I got to work, still fucking working because everyone else has the day off, or called in sick, or didn't show up, or just did nothing all day while I worked, so it left me and Phuong here to do everything.

The reason I bore you with my tired whining? BECAUSE MY COMPUTER JUST GAVE ME AN ERROR MESSAGE ON EXCEL AND CLOSED THE FILE WHILE I WAS TRYING TO PRINT MY VERY LAST PIECE OF WORK SO THAT I COULD GO HOME! But I'm not mad. I will enjoy working until 8, so I can put in 12 straight hours. Cause free overtime is my favorite. Especially when "we don't have any extra money to give you a raise again this year," is probably what I will hear. Fuck that shit.

Well at least I had lunch right? Yeah right, I ate chilli in the lunch room for 10 minutes at about 3:00 in between meetings with customers, because that is the first chance I had, and then went back to work. But there always is a bright side right? There was birthday cake and fruit for breakfast. Plus I got to leave for 30 minutes to go visit a customer, so I got that going for me. Plus I found a milky way in the freezer at work, and I fucking stole it and ate it in 2 bites. Cause that's how I roll. Bitch.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

More great sites

So I was looking up Zach Galifianakis because I was still bummed I missed him and the other comedians at bumbershoot and I was avoiding going through more old paperwork in our office. And I found a great site. Comedy Central with free clips from stand up comedy. Fucking rad. Here you go. comedycentral.com/zach galifianakis

I also found a folder full of drink recepies, drinking games, and old jokes that I had printed out in college. A lot of them were here, http://www.webtender.com/, which is a great site, so here is the link so I can shred all these pages I will never look at again.

Then I added some more beer links to the left. Then before I shredded all these jokes, I went to the link where I got them. Although the page and some of the humor is a little outdated, there is some really funny stuff compiled here. ~vanhoose/humor, like this beauty.

Note: If you are easily offended, don't read. (to the tune of the Macarenna:)
Sitting in my house, and I know that I'm alona,
Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona.
Go and grab a Penthouse its the one with Sharon Stona.
Hey Masturbata!!

I go a little faster and its feeling kind of nicea,
Once ain't enough so I have to do it twicea.
If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you good advicea.
Hey Masturbata!!

I use some baby oil or a little Vaselina,
Laying down a towel so I keep my carpet cleana
Never shake my hand cause you don't know where its beena
Hey Masturbata!!

I do it in the car when I'm driving down the streeta,
One hand on the wheel and the others on my meata.
I can't get out the car cause I'm sticking to the seata.
Hey Masturbata!!

Since I was a kid I have been a Masturbater,
Choke the chicken, hum the knob, squeezing the tomata.
I've looked at Ms. November now I'm gonna decorate her.
Hey, Masturbata!!

Buffing the banana, Mr. Lizard shaking bacona,
Pounding on the flounder and its mayonnaise I'm makinga.
Spank the frank, wax the carrot, god my hand is achinga.
Hey, Masturbata!!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Camping

So I spent my Labor Day weekend camping in Hood's Canal. For those of you who don't know where Hood's Canal is, it is on the Olympic peninsula in northern Washington state. My friend Garrett's grandparents built a cabin there and have a nice little camping spot off to the side.
Dez and I drove up Saturday morning, making stops in town for beer and gas. After about two and a half hours in the car we arrived. We were immediately greeted by Garrett and his wife Irina and some nice ice cold brews.
After setting up our tents we decided to go out and check the crab pots. I've got a keeper below and Garrett is fucking ecstatic. Look at the look on his face. It looks like me on Christmas 1985 when I opened up my Nintendo Entertainment System.
Here is that same crab getting the "official" measurements done. Way to be "Gary"!
Here is Dez, myself and Garrett looking tough with the two keepers we had out of the six crab pots. The next day Garrett, Dez, and Collin went out and got three more crabs. It was pretty much awesome.
As for the rest of the weekend, Collin, Erica and Eddie B. all showed up Saturday night and camped. Between the seven of us, we consumed three cases of Bud Light, two six-packs of Skinny Dip, a six-pack of Saison, a half gallon of Vodka, a fifth of Bourbon and two Olde English 40 ozs. (way to go Dez and Ed). Besides trying to pollute our livers, we went hiking at Fort Holden State Park near Port Townsend. We also tossed the frisbee around quite a bit. We would've played some wiffleball but I'm a dumbass and forgot to bring my wiffleball bat.
Sunday night Garrett got extremely wasted. Extremely. He kept fucking with Ed to the point he couldn't sleep, and somehow I woke up halfway in my tent and halfway out. WTF? I found out later that Garrett had pulled me out but I was in a very "relaxed" state at that time and there was no waking me.
All in all it was a great weekend. It was so nice to get out of town and relax. So how was your Labor Day?

Reason #3567 I <3 Youtube

Waddup peeps? Hope everybody had a great Labor Day weekend, I know I did. You will hear about my mis-adventures of last weekend at another time. But now I must share with you the most hilarious Youtube clip I have ever seen. Enjoy "Completely Uncalled For" by Barats and Bereta. It looks like they post all kinds of crazy skits that I will further explore at a later date.

I told you it was funny didn't I? Let me know what you think.

links

A few links to fun this weekend.
http://www.myspace.com/yellowcard
http://www.myspace.com/hawthorneheights
http://www.myspace.com/afi

I saw all three of these bands this weekend, and I was pretty impressed all the way around. Check it out.



This little girl is balancing on that ball, hula-hooping, and playing the violin. We also saw a young girl, probably about 10-12, playing the drums right along with some hard rock playing from a stereo, and it sounded like she was in the fucking band. Crazy good talent at bumbershoot, even just in the people playing for fun.


A picture for Williamson. He passed out in Mike D's garage friday night after he disappeared from the bars. Mike didn't even know Willie was at his house. Classic.



Hawthorne Heights setting up. This was the only good daytime shot I got.

Yellowcard had Boba Fett and some Stormtroopers come out on stage. Kind of geeky, which he admitted, until he said this..."Boba Fett just brought me a fucking beer. How many of you can say that?"


AFI fucking rocking out and going crazy screaming for minutes on end.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

the weekend and reader contributions

So, out of all those choices, I sold Stacy's tickets, got absolutely tore-up Friday night for no good reason except that I had a ride to Seattle the next morning, and woke up to take furniture to my sister's new townhouse in Seattle. I went to Bumbershoot and saw Hawthorne Heights, Yellowcard, and AFI. 3 concerts on the mainstage that were pretty kickass, considering I am almost 30 (inside joke), plus lots of booths, performers, other stages, comedy, beer gardens...all for $30. Not bad. I think the only bad part was the cost of beers at a whopping $5 or $6 each. And the fact that I found out Zach Galifiankakis (from the movie Out Cold), David Cross, the Upright Citzens Brigade, and other comedians were at bumbershoot and I did not run back from the Funhouse (bar across the street with a great happy hour and jello shots) quick enough to catch Zach. I plan to go next year and get the schedule so I can plan my day out in between beers and waiting in lines for concerts. One beer garden had a concert stage right inside, so that was nice. Then I spent Sunday morning waiting for my ride and moving furniture at my sister's place until my ride showed up. (Thanks a bunch to Apul and Avish for the ride and for moving furniture with me. You guys rock. Go to Quizno's and buy a sandwhich from Avish if you get the chance. They are delish.)

Later, I will get some pictures, but for now until Nate posts about his weekend, you get some reader commentary, sent in by our very own Stacy.
"Matt Leinart is going to be a father. I'm devastated. He was on my 'list' and considering he lives in the vicinity (Phx), I was up to at least a 5% chance."
"You could also add a link to the ever popular www.mulletsgalore.com. If you haven't been there in awhile, it's worth a look. You have to look at the 'classifications' section. I think my favorite is the albinoinbredmullet - although they are all extremely hilarious."