Ch-check it out

I am so glad it's Friday. Cannot wait for the weekend so I can waste it playing X-box and sleeping. I'll probably hang with the girlfriend a little bit too.
And last weekend I decided to buy a new bed. Best. Purchase. Ever. My old bed was great when I was single, but J9 wasn't liking it very much. So a couple of weeks ago we decide to check out the new Sleep Country in town (Longview is becoming such a metropolis). I was just going to look and check out some prices, to get a feel for what I might want to get. Only problem was their salesman. This guy was good. He could've sold a Ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. The end result is me having a very nice king size bed with some kind of memory foam pillow top. He reassured me that it was very nice. And he was right.
So the Sleep Country delivery crew stopped by Sunday and dropped this bad boy off. Since it was the end of the weekend when I received it, I haven't really had the chance to really sleep in. The alarm going off at 5.30 in the morning kind of negates any chance of sleeping in. So this weekend I am hibernating. And it's gonna be the bombdizzle.
I also in the process of having a new computer built by my good friend T, O Double D. This guy has forgotten more about computers than I could ever hope to learn. He writes code for fun. Anyhoo I stopped by his pad the other evening to check on Operation: Goatcheese. (Operation: Computer sounded gay. So does Goatcheese I guess.) T, O, Double D tried explaining how kickass my new machine was going to be but I don't really speak computer. From what I understand it's gonna have a 17" flat screen, DVD burner, 250gb harddrive, 164 mega-pixel jiggaprocessor, a double cohesion flux capacitor and a cool wireless keyboard and mouse. I can't wait.
When I do get it I will have a chance to check out some more blogs on a semi-regular basis. I can't believe how many truly great writers there are out there. I am currently reading about ten different blogs.

1. Mulgrew
2. Pork Tornado
3. Red Red Rine
4. Ginapalooza
5. Lisaopolis
6. Waiter Rant
7. the Letter D
8. the Sneeze
9. planet Dan
10. Tucker Max

All very good. If you have the means, I highly recommend it.

Damn Jessica Alba is HOT!

Have a gr8 weekend all. Seacrest out.

International Rules of Manhood

01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella
02: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
03: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
05: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
09: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never, ever ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel ...and it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever

The Office

found another good site http://www.lifeintheoffice.com/index.php which is a blog about the Show The Office and its refrences to the real town of Scranton where the show takes place.

Other than that, The Blazers beat the Lakers last night. It was cool, although those of us that attended (not nate, loser...) think there is a conspiracy between the Blazers and Taco Bell. Taco Bell advertises with the Blazers, and gives coupons to everyone as they are leaving for a free Chaulupa, but ONLY if the Blazers score 100. Last night Zach Randolph missed one of two free throws with 2 seconds left to score 99. Fuckin bullshit. Saves Taco Bell about 30 grand in coupons, and they still get to advertise. I want my chaulupa!


Also, I thought I would show you a picture of the thing that decides what I have for lunch. I call it the magic eightball, because even though it is not black and does not have an 8 on it, it performs the same function. Also, I would feel silly telling Nate I can't go to lunch with him because the magic white-"imagine the possibilities"-moose-lodge ball told me so...

What's Worse? (and gaming grandma)

(note, this post is an example of what happens if you think about what you are going to post on your blog before you post it, so you have time to edit out stupid shit and then also have time to realize that your post will not be just straight from your crazy mind with no editing...)

original version:
Lets Play "What's Worse Than That?"
I say something bad, and you comment something worse.

What's worse than looking forward to leftover food all morning, only to find that fuckers had eaten it all when you weren't looking? (the answer? It's worse if the food was pizza, and it was free at work, and all that you had instead was half a 2 day old sandwhich left.)

long version: (that part plus all this)
I checked the fridge twice this morning, over a full large pizza left. I only saw one person having a few pieces. I knew for sure that no one ever eats the leftover Taco pizza, so even if the peperoni disappears, I will still get some pizza. And then I work through lunch, and go into get some at 1:30, AND THERE IS AN EMPTY FUCKING BOX IN THE GARBAGE. Sons-a-bitches. It's that kind of joy-killing thing that just underminds any happiness you expected to feel for the rest of the day. Stupid half a roast beef sandwhich. fuck.

Also, I was reading the march EG mag, and there is a couple good blogs listed about gaming, one by the developer of God of War, and one by the gaming granny. kind of cool. really kind of cool, check them both out. best example of why this blog written by her grandson is worth your time.

A Funny

An elderly couple decides to go see the doctor, as their memory is deteriorating, fearing the early stages of Alzheimer's. The doc examines both of them and tells them that they are in good health and that their hearing is just a result of aging. He suggests to them that from now on they write everything down, so they won't forget anything.
A couple of nights later the couple is laying in bed. The husband turns on the lamp on his nightstand and begins to get up.
"Where are you going?" his wife asks.
The husband responds "Down to the kitchen, for some ice cream".
"That sounds delicious, I'll have a bowl too. You better write that down".
To that he says "I can remember two bowls of ice cream".
"But I want cherries on mine" his wife tells him.
"Cherries, got it" the husband replies.
"How about some whipped cream too. You better write that down" she says again.
"I can remember that!" He snorts back.
About a half an hour passes and the wife is beginning to lose hope. In walks her husband, carrying a huge tray of pancakes, eggs, bacon, orange juice, and all the condiments for the meal.
The wife asks "Where's my toast?"

more pics

Convict Nate and his girlfriend Jeannine, and Willie playing the part of Burt Reynolds.

Also, happy sad news, they are making a 184 proof whiskey, but it wont be ready for 10 years.
story

Pardon me, I have nothing to say

That's a very funny line from George Carlin's standup bit about "ways to keep people on their toes." And it fits with how I feel today. After about 40 hours of coaching this weekend in Yakima, I considered letting exhaustion, sickness, and an overall "ahh, fuck it" attitude keep me in bed all day today, but instead I am at work with the nice big bags under my eyes.

On the plus side our team did really well, in fact better than our team has ever done at the big Yakima tournament . If not for a few losses at the end of the second day, and the fact that we got bumped to a shitty little hotel with not enough hot water, it would have been perfect. So my attitude today will involve little talking, many one word answers to questions from people I can't find a way to avoid, and some kind of nap or going to be early, (of course, this will be after doing the write-up for our team, downloading pictures from our team and the other 11 teams that played this weekend, working on the raffle some more, and trying to fit in a Lions meeting.)

Come to think of it, with practice as well as training at work tomorrow night, and blazer tickets wednesday, I think I'll probably be running on empty (or emptier) til about Thursday. As a matter of fact, I think I will probably end up taking advantage of a weekend with no tournament to still NOT get all the boxes of garage sale and christmas decorations into storage, just like the last 2 months...

edit: on a side note, while getting Carlin's link, I saw on the website that he underwent an angioplasty (surgery) this winter, but is doing okay. Get better soon Mr. Carlin.

Also, Kennedy sent in this awesome link gizoogle of my website from gizoogle.com.