Bring on the Colts!

It's about time the Seattle Seahawks start to get some national media attention. I mean we are talking about the best team in the NFC. I tried as hard as I could this year to not get too excited and jinx them (see 1984) but damn this team looks good. I know, I know that this team has looked good in the past only to go on and disappoint later on, queue Matt Hasselbeck "We're gonna take the ball and we're gonna score".
But this team is different. These guys are actually playing as a team and not making mistakes. They are scoring when they should and Shaun Alexander is straight out DOMINATING. And all this without their two leading wide recievers for most of the season. I'm predicting the Super Bowl this year, anything else and I will be disappointed.
GO HAWKS!

Road Rage Against the Machine

I have something to admit. I am a road-rager. I try not to be but I just can't help it. I mean if the speed limit is 35 drive 35. Just two nights ago I followed some dipshit for about two miles in a 35 mph zone and I shit you not he never got over 23. And that's being generous. Most of the time it was closer to 18. WTF?
Well now I have something else to rage about. Our wonderful little town of Longview has decided that the only way to stop the speeders is to put these beautiful "speed humps" on the road. And they don't install them where people speed the most. Anybody that can cover the expenses (roughly $800) can have one installed in their neighborhood by the city. According to an article on tdn.com there are currently about 40 of them in our town. The article also went on to say that people are getting angry about these. Well no shit. Some of them are so big that you have to slow down to 12 mph just so you don't bottom out. The article also says that some people have begun to lay on their horns whenever they go through an area with these. What a great idea! So I encourage everybody in Longview (all three of you who read this) who encounters these mofos to just lay on your horn.
Thanks for listening, I feel much better now.

Grandparents

Recently both Nate and I have lost a grandparent, as well as my friend Angela and at least one other person I know losing a grandparent. Very sad, especially at this time of year. December seems to be a crappy time for the elderly, becuase I haven't had to go to any funerals for a while, and then this month, BAM 2 or 3 of them. Anyways, Miss you Grandpa.

On a lighter note
Man, Garfield is some funny shit, and its been around for ever. I love him, Fox Trot, Get Fuzzy, Dilbert, The Far Side, Calvin & Hobbes, and a few others. I'm such a kid. I think that I could be perfectly happy winning a shopping spree at Toy-R-Us.

edit: And I found a new friend with the next blog button (and also a few on myspace lately, feel free to add me if you are there, Erik Guttormsen) http://stevehappens.blogspot.com/ Very Funny picture and discussion today about why people call pants "pants" when they are clearly one article of clothing and not a pair. hmmmm.

Sorry boys, the Bakery is closed

This just in off of ABC News webpage year in review:
How about the Idaho high school boy who fed a batch of semen-frosted brownies to a fellow student and his friends? It seems the teenager was more than a bit ticked when his classmate put peanut butter in his cheese sandwich days before. As a police report said, the prankster, who has since agreed to admit to three counts of disturbing the peace, "hated peanut butter and it made him more mad than he could explain."
Seriously, how much would you have to hate peanut butter to give somebody a jizz frosted brownie? I am suprised this guy is still alive. If somebody would've fed me some "special" brownies (and not in the good way) I would fucking kill them. Twice.

the Kid and the Toy Train (a Christmas Story)

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

New Team Member

Just like Wal-Mart, we have team members.
Welcome Nate Bullcock.

as for me, I finally did some dreaded christmas shopping. Before that I had a chamber of commerce after hours christmas party. So at that and afterwords I had to drink some beers and I had to go to sleep right when I finally got home, so all in all not a horrible night. no dishes, no volleyball phone calls (I coach), no thinking about work, in a word, nice.

That's what I'M talking about

http://www.cinetopiatheaters.com/wine_bar/enomatic.htm
a movie theater with restaurant, wine bar, loung chairs, etc. with the emphasis on the wine bar you can swipe your card for a fresh taste or glass of wine. I know where I want a gift card to for Christmas...

dick jokes

4 days til Howard Stern is off the air. That sucks, because I listen to him for a few minutes every morning, and almost every morning the show is funny. Today, a particularly funny line when talking with one of the Senators who supports him against the FCC.
"Howard, you can be a defender of those who can't defend themselves when you move."
"Well, I don't know about that. I'll probably just do a lot of dick jokes."
Classic. I love it.

and in case you are wondering, the EB games informed Bophal (also has a 360 on preorder) that they MIGHT get them on the 18th. Oh yeah? Well I MIGHT take a big shit in your store. Right after I return the accessories I bought over a month ago because the lying bitch told me that I wouldn't get one one opening night, but probably tuesday. And I bought two games off Ebay, and I would have to return those without receipts dammit. I may just have to stick with what I've got and tell microsoft to go fuck themselves. Maybe start using Navigator instead of Internet Explorer and Linux instead of Windows. Fuckin bill gates.

and i probably should include a dick joke.
My dick is so big that it has its own dick. and its dick is bigger than your dick.
My dick is so big, its behind you.

(stole these from Drew Carey's book, check it out cause it's damn funny.)

great cartoon

http://www.illwillpress.com/xmas.html (parental advisory, he says fuck and shit)
If you are tired of people in general bitching in the public eye for reason or another, then you will appreciate this cartoon of a neurotic squirel bitching about people that try to ruin Christmas becuase it has "religious overtones." My favorite line is "Tis the season to stop being a whiney bitch and shut the fuck up!"(about the neo-yuppie scumbags)
and
"That's why I like Santa. He's a fat bastard, he's happy, he works one day a year, and he gets to eat all the cookies he wants. He rewards the good, and punishes the bad, kinda like a vigilante."

on a side note, my local EB Games says they are supposed to have their second shipment of Xbox 360s in, which means I am supposed to get the one I pre-ordered today. I hope they don't let me down again.

football and david cross

Anyone think that commercial with Payton Manning getting autographs and aprons from normal people and treating them all like football players? I am undecided it It's kind of a "mad at myself for likeing it" kind of feeling.

I also got directed to The Bob and David site, which I forgot about since the last time I watched Mr. Show. David Cross has this long ass letter rippin on Larry the Cable Guy, because Larry ripped on him and is pretty ignorant. Anytime commedians write long-winded letters ripping on people, I want to read them.