So after my little brother's wedding last Friday my family did what we do best. We got drunk.
My bro's wedding was at the beach so we had a hotel room for the evening. After the reception I went back to the room with my mom, step-dad Bruce, sister Jill, her boyfriend TJ, my cousin Matt and his fiancee Tierna. They all decided to start with some brews but I was wanting something a little stronger. The lounge was calling my name.
I started the evening off with an old standby, the Lemon Drop. And it was so delish that I decided to have another. About halfway through my second drink TJ joined me in the lounge. He decided that he wanted a martini so I had another drink myself. As we were finishing up our drinks the rest of our group all showed up and we decided to go somewhere else. We ended up at the world famous Long Beach Tavern (or the LBT as it's affectionately known).
We ordered a couple of pitchers of Bud Light, Matt and Tierna decided on Long Island Iced Teas and Bruce went with his usual, Crown and Squirt (yummy).
Now I've known Tierna for about five years I would say. During these five years she has seemed like a pretty mellow girl. Not on this night. She drank her Long Island down and decided that she was going to sing a little Karaoke. They called her name and on her way up to the mic she grabbed my half full glass and chugged it down.
She then proceeded to blow the fucking doors off of the LBT with her rendition of some Dixie Chicks' song. I mean she nailed it. Not even looking at the monitor, dancing around the bar singing on a cordless mic. After she was done the place erupted with applause. I was shocked. She rewarded herself by pounding down
my new beer.
Somewhere along the way the table next to us became occupied by a couple of girls around my age, an older lady and some dude. Teirna immediately starts chatting them up. She introduces the family and mentions that I'm single. Thanks T. Well one of the girls at the table is interested in some Nate (I'm very handsome).
She introduces herself as Danielle and we start chatting. Somewhere along the way Tierna and her decide to head outside for a smoke. I decide to follow them outside and chat with her a little more. And she is very interested.
Anyways we head back inside and I start enjoying some more brewskis. During this time the other girl at the table next to us leans over and starts talking into my cousin Matt's ear. Out of nowhere Matt screams "She wants to fuck Nate?"
My mom was not amused by this. She turns around and tells the girl "That's my son your talking about." I then got the evil eye from her. Awesome.
Anyways the night goes on and for the rest of the night my Mom is saying things like "You're not leaving with that whore", "what a classless bitch" and some others that I can't really remember. I would glance over at Danielle throughout the evening and she would be just staring me down. Winking, licking her lips, letting me know that she was interested.
Eventually Danielle's whole table gets kicked out. On her way out she comes over to where I'm sitting (right across from my mom) and straddles my leg while she whispers into my ear "Sorry you're mom doesn't like me". To which I responded "It wasn't really you it was your friend's comment". "Well I think your hot" is her answer to that. "I'll be here tomorrow night if you're interested." I wish her a good night and they are on their way.
I turn back to our table and my mom is giving me some serious stink-eye. "Just go home with the whore." Wow.
Mom + drinks = saying anything she wants
We finish another round or two and all head back to the hotel. I was sleeping on a hide-a-bed in Jill and TJ's room and my mom told them to make sure I didn't sneak out. To which I replied "Thanks for cock-blocking me Mom". We all laughed our asses off at this comment and then went to bed.
And no, I didn't go back to the LBT the next night. Any girl that's gonna give it up on the first night isn't somebody I wanna be with. I'd rather have my dick
not fall off.
