Movie of the Day (explicit)

NEW!!!!

"Unknown Movie Title of the Day"

(Today's movie that you do not want to see)

Men in Back

This new segment is brought to you by a friend's sister who manages a small movie store here in town. The short-version is that almost none of the stores in town have a "porn room" any more, and so this store has had to expand (more than once) to fit in all the porn that their customers want, including lining the movies up so you only see the titles because the amount of space required is enormous, and the amount of space available is not.

Today was "new porn day," and needless to say she has some absolutely hilarious stories, including the dork yesterday who went up to the counter while "having the flag at full mast..." I bet the conversation went something like this...

"No video games today? Ooooh, something a little spicier I see. Your parents must be gone for the weekend. Maybe next year when you're 25 you can get your own place...""Oookay, interesting choice, but I'm not judging you... (Granny Takes a Squirt) There you go. Thanks, and uhhh sign here, and uuhhh, you might want to do something about that. Your pants seem to have shrunk. Thanks. Come again."

note to self: Always "Shake hands with the unemployeed" before going to rent porn.

2nd note to self: If you are tall enough that your waist is above the counter, WAIT UNTIL YOUR COCK IS LIMP before you rent and/or buy porn. (Or anything else for that matter)

P.S. Please feel free to comment with your favorite masterbation terminoligy and/or favorite porn movie names, whether you've seen em, or if it was just a friend of a friend's sister's cousin's hairdresser's brother who saw it becuse you would never watch such filth as "Split the Uprights."

spread em

Football:
During the Raiders pre-season game today, I swear I heard the announcer say "You want to spread em, then ram it inside." You got to love announcers that speak before they think. Either that or he was reading Playboy instead of watching the game...

Work:
I may be on here and my site less, as I have been super busy at work for about a year and a half, and am now busier. So see you around maybe...

Heather:
My sister heather emailed me back. She is in Memphis, planning to travel to Nashville, then to North Carolina in hopes of visiting a few friends with her roommate as they wait for word on when they will be able to return to New Orleans. Needless to say, she's glad she's safe, but wants us to pray for all the survivors as well as the zoo full of animals they care for...and try not to dwell on the fact she probably lost everything since her car and all her stuff were left behind. She escaped with a backpack and her kitty. That sucks.

fuck you katrina

I said I would get those pictures on the net from the various weddings, but I keep flipping from story to story about Hurricane Katrina, and realizing that I really don't feel like it. I feel selfish for being pissed gas is so expensive, while I realize my sister might have lost most of the stuff she owns since she is living in New Orleans and her rental is probably underwater. I know she got out of town okay, and she told my parents shes having a good time in Memphis, but still, Katrina sucks. I was going though all the pictures, and I realized the swamp, and the bars, and her house, and everything else we saw are totally fucked up.

So I turned on The Office on NBC. That show rocks.

Dicko's Hitched!

The rest of the pics will go on my website, hopefully tonight. Here are a few good ones, 2 nice ones, one of Dicko demonstrating how we are supposed to eat food (I hope...), and another good picture of Brad keeping it real. He's can clap-dance with the best of em...

Recommended Site

I love when someone recommends a site, and I end up laughing out loud as I read it. I hope that people find me funny as often as I do (because if you can't laugh at yourself, then how can you let others do it...), but just in case, here is another site I will be adding to the fun links to the left and to my links page on my website...
http://www.jasonmulgrew.com/index2.php

I fully recommend reading the most recent post or two, then the about me, and then you have to read the photo diary. By the third picture I was laughing out loud at work where I was supposedly doing real work, and had to come here and save the rest of the pictures for later. Needless to say he starts right off with the baby pictures that make him look like a gay sailor, and it just gets funnier from there.

Also, this weekend was Dicko's wedding. I will get some more pictures up here soon. I am sure they will be very funny, but I will need to see them to verify this, as wine was free, and tends to erase memories when drunken from the big fish bowl that used to hold the matchbooks at the bar. Man, nothing says too much to drink like going out for burgers before you pass out, and going to Dicks just so you can giggle about the phrase "I could really go for a mouthfull of Dicks."