quick renaming of burckhardt

Lately those of us around the Longview branch of NOSE have been referring to our favorite Wookie (burckhardt) as "Cockblocker." (stories to follow at another time) A recent advertisment in the new EGM has made realize the error of our ways. He is in fact a "Gamekiller," as described at www.gamekillers.com. The example in my ad was "The One Upper," and you can get an idea of the other types at the site. Because if he's ruining your chances of talking to girls, he's not really blocking your cock. At least not yet...

favorite funny movies?

How about a fun post with some commentor interaction?

What's the best funny movie you've seen lately?
(whether its new or something you watch over and over.)
(p.s. we'll do other categories later)

For me, it's "Harold & Kumar go to White Castle"
(favorite line: "COMMON POOKIE, LET'S BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN!"

And what's your favorite funny movie(s) of the last 10-20 years?

For me, the first thing that jumped in my mind was "Spaceballs."
(line: "I'm surrounded by assholes!")

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

So tonight is the night I get my new computer. It kinda feels like Christmas in March. I am so excited, every time I think about it I pee in my pants a little bit.
I stopped by T, O, double D's last night to check on the progress and he was just loading it up with some programs for me. I started asking him questions about the specs on this bad boy and he broke it down for me as best he could (I don't speak computer at all). Anyways he told me it is gonna have a 1.4 ghz, 64 bit processor, a gig of ram, and a 150 gb hard-drive for me to store movies and music on. I plan on spending the evening bulking up my iTunes collection.
So I wrote Erik an e-mail this morning asking him about his high-speed internet provider and basically just bragging about my new toy. I will enclose our e-mail exchange below because I am too lazy to recount the whole exchange.
---------------------------------------------
From: Nate.Bullock@onecoolmofo.com
Sent: Thursday, March 09, 2006 10:13 AM
To: eguttormsen@ilovefagsoup.com

What's up foo? I should be getting my new computer tonight. It looks like it's gonna be a beast.
1.4 ghz 64 bit processor
150 gb hard drive
1 gb ram
17" flat screen monitor
wireless keyboard and mouse
I'm gonna go home and rough up the suspect BIG time!
How's you're day going?
---------------------------------------------
From: eguttormsen@ilovefagsoup.com:
Sent: Thu 09-Mar-06 10:22 AM
To: Nate.Bullock@onecoolmofo.com

you getting high speed internet?
--------------------------------------------
From: Nate.Bullock@onecoolmofo.com
Sent: Thursday, March 09, 2006 10:13 AM
To: eguttormsen@ilovefagsoup.com

fo sho....I'm gonna start looking at providers here in about a week....who do you use?
--------------------------------------------
From: eguttormsen@ilovefagsoup.com:
Sent: Thu 09-Mar-06 10:22 AM
To: Nate.Bullock@onecoolmofo.com

adelphia. and i think they are running a killer $26 a month for the first 6 months or something.
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From: Nate.Bullock@onecoolmofo.com
Sent: Thursday, March 09, 2006 10:13 AM
To: eguttormsen@ilovefagsoup.com

really? I will have to give them a call. That sounds good. How much is it usually?
---------------------------------------------
From: eguttormsen@ilovefagsoup.com
Sent: Thu 09-Mar-06 10:22 AM
To: Nate.Bullock@onecoolmofo.com

i think its between 35 and 40 usually, but its grouped in with my $130 cable bill (ouch) so im not exactly sure. plus you rent the modem for 2.50 or something like that.
--------------------------------------------
From: Nate.Bullock@onecoolmofo.com
Sent: Thursday, March 09, 2006 10:13 AM
To: eguttormsen@ilovefagsoup.com

$130 for cable? Does it at least swallow?

Tiger Woods 2006

In case you play video games, and were considering getting the new Tiger Woods game, don't. Here is my favorite excerpt from what I think is a very funny review I did on gamespot.com

"In case dual sticks is not hard enough for you, we have placed the power button above the left stick, just because we hate you and want you to shank to the right consistantly like you do in real life."
You can see a summary here, and the full review here.

Also, Harry Potter 4 comes out on DVD today (or yesterday). Columbia House better get my friggin copy here, cause I need to drink to Harry Potter 4, and they don't allow drinks in Kids movies, or in most theaters for that matter.

Three Times in One Day? Wow!

A man scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive womanstanding alone.
He approached her and asked her name.
"My name is Carmen," she told him.
"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I likemost - cars and men."
"What's your name?" she asked.
"Beerfuck," he said.

Too Funny

I know double posts are kewl but this was too funny to not share. Big ups to planetdan.net for finding this gem. If for some reason this pic doesn't move (like it should) click on the link. You won't be disappointed.

edit by Erik: I checked out planet dan, and this site is good. I had to add these gems.

I want to see her wal-mart outfit. Moo moo or stretch pants???
And You Gotta Love Moloram and Indiana Jones.
Goes good with Nates new phrase I heart you.

I Could've Been Killed!

So yesterday, Gym from work and I were going to lunch. Taco Time was the destination as it usually is on Tuesdays. About halfway through our trip we arrive at the intersection that I have so poorly drawn out here.
This intersection is right over by were Erik works. It's a four-way stop and it tends to confuse people who can't drive, especially at lunchtime when there is more traffic than usual. So I pull up to the stop sign (I'm represented by the car-thing on the map) and wait for my turn. The other cars all go and I start out into the intersection. Well Mr. Yuck driving his brand new, shiny blue, Chevrolet Avalanche (damn those things are ugly) decides it's his turn to go. Except he isn't going to turn right like he should but instead goes straight through the intersection, stopping a couple of inches away from T-boning me.
I go to flip him off (I suffer from an extreme case of Road Rage) and notice he's an older, fat, ugly guy. Probably somewhere in his late fifties to early sixties.
And before I can even do anything he's half hangin out his window, flipping me off, and cursing me out. This angers me extremely.
I circle around the block to try to follow this guy. The traffic is so thick though that I can only get a couple blocks behind him before he turned and lost me. I'm not sure what I would've done had I caught him, seeing as I am not much of a fighter. It didn't help that this guy was older than dirt. But boy was I angry. My biggest pet-peeve is stupid people who can't drive. And you could tell this guy was stupid by his actions, and the car he was driving. What is the deal with the ugly-ass plastic that Chevrolet puts on those Avalanches.
And I know you are all amazed by my drawing abilities and if you would like me to draw you something crappy, send me an e-mail. My specialty is Ligers. Their bred for their magical powers and super jumping abilities.

quick post

I love you smoot. Don't be mad. Prove me wrong and post something before Thursday...

and good crossover article on phatphree about Tucker
http://thephatphree.com/features.asp?SectionID=1

demoted

Watched the Oscars, and realized I have missed a lot of movies in the last couple years. Gay cowboys? (probably good but haven't seen it.) A rap song winning an Oscar? (sorry but I can appreciate all music, and did not like that song, and will not see that movie, although it was cool how excited they were to win, even if they couldn't avoid getting Bleeped at least once) Everyone using Clooney to make their speech funnier? (even George didn't get it) and why don't they have more movie category awards instead of best photo editing and shit the people watching on TV don't care about?

I had some funny shit to say on here about friday at Nates, and golfing Saturday with Willie and Mike, but beer makes you forget shit. And since I don't have a voice recorder, you'll just have to take my word for it. I'm sure we said something about sticking our balls in the mashed potatoes, but all the other funny bits escape me after the weekend.

Smoot and Dicko. You are welcome to come back as posters, but having 4 names as contributors made the top of the page longer, and seing as you do not fucking post anything ever, I moved the actual blog posts up a little on the screen by droping you. So feel free to bitch a little more just so I know you are actually still there, and I will add you back on.

Don't Invite Willie...

Don't invite Erik Williamson anywhere, cause he will bring this guy with him.

my Weekend

First off I would like to warn everybody. What you see in the above picture may look like beer. It is not. Don't be fooled like Erik Williamson was Friday night.
So I spent my Friday hanging out with Erik W., Mike, and the Guttormsens. I went to high school with Mike and haven't seen him in a while so that was nice. They came over and drank some beers and hung out for a while. We watched Dave Chappelle's standup "For what it's worth". (I think that's the title)
After consuming my Red Stripes and Willie's Coronas, we decided we needed some more brews. Willie and I headed out to the always reliable Market Place. Decisions, decisions. We finally settled on some Killians red, some Tecate (w/limes) and Bootie Light. Good choice, good choice, terrible fucking choice. Mike compared the taste of Bootie Light to that of severely watered piss. I'm not sure how Mike knows what piss tastes like but I agreed with him after a taste of the Bootie.
(That's a great ending to a sentence "a taste of the Bootie")
Saturday I wasn't feeling too good. I don't know what it is about getting a little older that makes you a wuss. Seriously, I couldn't have had more than nine beers. It might have been on an empty stomach, as I don't remember eating anything for dinner, but still, nine beers?
So Saturday my neighbor was celebrating his 50th B-Day. Beers and BBQ for all! My buddy Ed decided to come into town and hang out so we headed over to the neighbor's, had a couple brews, ate way more than I should have, and came home to play some X-Box and have a little chat with the coach. Good times. J9 showed up about 9ish and made some of the best munchies evah. I don't remember falling asleep, but J9 woke me up about 1.30 and informed me it was time to come to bed. My couch is pretty damn comfy.
Yesterday I spent doing laundry and mastering the new Blitz: the League on X-Box. I hate doing laundry.