Jokes and Golf and Football

Happy Halloween from two Boobees.
and the blog title in reverse order...
GO HAWKS
Stupid Cougars, I was let down again.
I finally golfed after a month or so off, and was 7 over on 3 holes, and 8 over total for 81. So other than those 3 holes, I played really well, and considering I blew up right in the middle, I would say I had good composure to finish off only 8 over.

and guest blogger Alex N. strikes again...

• At dawn the telephone rings.
• "Hello, Senor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house."
• "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
• "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot died."
• "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
• "Si, Senor, that's the one."
• "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. "What did he die from?"
• "From eating rotten meat, Senor."
• "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
• "Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
• "Dead horse? What dead horse?"
• "The thoroughbred, Senor Lucky. He died from all that work pulling the water cart."
• "Are you insane? What water cart?"
• "The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
• "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
• "The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
• "What the hell? There's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
• "For the funeral, Senor."
• "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!"
• "Your wife's, Senor...She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."
• "Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!"

and another from Alex

• A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my beautiful wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy! What do you think I should do?"
• "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now tell me, where is Larry's bar?"