Las Vegas, A Love Story

So I spent last weekend in beautiful Las Vegas. I flew down on Thursday and immediately started drinking. Actually I started drinking Thursday morning before my flight even left.
I landed in Vegas and realized I was hungry. It was then that I discovered the new love in my life, the Double-Double Burger from In-N-Out. It was Heaven on Earth. I felt like I should’ve had a smoke afterwards. It was that good. So I made two more stops by In-N-Out before I left sin city to enjoy the double meat and double cheese goodness.
That night I headed down to the Golden Nugget on Fremont. After putting a hurt on my stomach with their buffet offerings I tried my hand at the Wheel of Fortune slot machines. I now understand that Wheel of Fortune is the devil’s game. Fifty dollars later I was outside the casino, enjoying another Heineken and watching the Fremont Experience. Aside from losing my money, it was pretty awesome.
Friday, I woke up and decided to head out to the lovely Lake Las Vegas. While at Lake Las Vegas, I ate at an Irish Pub and enjoyed some tasty Guinness. After eating I decided it was time to gamble some more. I foolishly lost another 20 on Wheel of Fortune (damn you Bob Barker) and then made my way to the blackjack table. It was here I should’ve stayed for the rest of my trip. I was up about 150 when I walked away from the table. I’m sure if I would have sat right there for another couple of days I could’ve walked outta there owning that damn casino. But I am a very foolish man and made my way back down towards the strip.
That night I met up with my buddy Anh who is living in Vegas. I enjoyed a Grey Goose and Red Bull followed by numerous Heinekens. Feeling pretty good about life, I made my way to Terrible’s Casino for some gambling. Bad idea. I dropped $50 on the blackjack table and another $20 on that damn Wheel of Fortune (I tell you, it’s the devil). After my losses, I decided I deserved some prime rib. It was delicious and filled me up to where all I wanted to do was go pass out. Which I did successfully.
I woke up Saturday, full of piss and vinegar. Well not so much vinegar but definitely full of piss. After relieving myself, a little breakfast was in order. Hash House A Go-Go is easily the greatest place in Vegas for breakfast. The food is huge and served on some big ass plates. And their Bloody Mary’s are delish. I started drinking at 10 this morning. By the time I hit the Red Rock’s Casino I was feeling pretty good. I lost some more on Wheel of Fortune and then decided to try out some Keno. If you wanna get drunk, cheap in Vegas Keno is the answer. I played for about an hour on ten bucks. I also enjoyed a couple of Heines in the process. Afterwards I foolishly sat back down on at the blackjack table. Seventy dollars and a couple more beers later I was leaving the table with no chips. Defeated I made my way back to the house. A couple of more beers later and I was ready to go again. So TJ and I made our way to In-N-Out and enjoyed a couple of burgers, swung by the “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign for a picture and then made our way to the MGM Grand. The MGM was alright and we had a couple of beers there. We left there and made our way to the Palms. And the Palms was packed. I started back in with Grey Goose and Red Bulls and we wandered around the Palms checking out the “scenery”. After ordering my third GG&RB I sat down at a slot machine to rest my feet a little. It was then that I saw my third “rock star” in three trips. My first trip down we ran into Ice T. Last time I witnessed a very passed out Sebastian Bach relaxing on a slot machine. This trip it was Dave Navarro of Jane’s Addiction and Chili Peppers fame. I almost didn’t recognize him cause he’s so damn short. Seriously like 5’8 at the most.
We figured the Palms couldn’t get much more exciting than that and we made our way back to the Red Rocks Casino. The plan was to meet my friend Shanna (who’s also from Longview) and she was going to give me a lesson on craps. Well, a couple of beers later and I’m down $70 quick. I guess her advice of “Just bet on six and eight” wasn’t very good. After craps we made our way to a bar and resumed the GG&RB regimen. By this time it was close to 10 PM and I had been drinking for about twelve hours. Shanna got us into a new nightclub Cherry that was located inside the Red Rocks. At this point the night gets somewhat foggy. I remember seeing my friend Stacey here and drinking. Besides that, I’m lost. I slightly remember eating breakfast at a place called the Outside Inn and finishing up a couple more beers. By this time it was four in the morning.
I woke up Sunday and wanted to die. After some breakfast, I took a much needed nap and then went and enjoyed the new Borat movie. I could write a huge post on this movie alone. It was fanfuckingtastic. Go right now and watch it. Seriously. Leave work and go see it. It’s cool, I’ll wait. Go.

See, I told you it was good. And that ending? Hilarious.

Monday I spent most of the day with Anh checking out more of Vegas. I ate dinner that night with my sister and TJ and then went to the airport to come home to the torrential downpours. Of course I left a couple of things out but that’s Vegas. I plan on making a return trip in February. It will be awesome!