christmas light snobs

I came up with a new phrase on saturday night. Christmas light snobs are people (like me) who can't help but cringe at the tasteless christmas decoration addicts who put every single light they own on the front of their house in an attempt to outspend their neighbors in the electrical bill category of this years tacky fucker awards.

They cover the bushes, the trees, around the windows, the roof line, the icecicle lights, the front path and sidewalk, around the yard, the chimney, and of course the nativity scene and iron reindeer.

They use the colored lights, the white lights, the multi-colored lights, stars, rope lights, pictures of santa, pictures of snowman, and of course, the newest sign of the apocolypse, those fucking inflatable santas, snowman, reindeers, snowglobes, grinch and his dog, and other crap like the Coca-Cola polar bears.

Maybe it's just me (although I know its not), but what ever happened to outlining the roofline of your house and adding a simple star or possibly one or two simple lawn decorations? How about a 10 strand of light maximum or something? How about it being legal to shoot those inflatable animals with a bee-bee gun? The first hint that you need help is if it is brighter outside your house at night than it is during the day. And if you mix multi-colored with single colors and white, or use more than one color and white, then you have tacky lights. Just thought you should know. Try white with blue, or white with red, or red with green, or multi-color only for example. Until you sled so fast that you burn through the bottom of your sled, or have your grandpa burn down the tree with his stogie after grandma makes catfood and pineapple green jello, try and not blind the rest of us with your lights. Clark W. Grizwald, you are not.