Email Chain of the Week

Email Chain of the Week
(otherwise known as:
Nate picks Manning over McNabb. Hilarity ensues.)

October 4, 2006

• subject: Mulgrew
  That guy fucking loves me. I sent him an e-mail yesterday and he mentioned me again. I feel some self-worth now so I won't go home and drink some special kool-aid.
  -Nate

(Erik goes to http://www.jasonmulgrew.com/, reads posts about fantasy sports and T.O.)

• to jasonmulgrew.com
  Nate (from Longview) just emailed to tell me how special he felt about being mentioned again on your blog. http://www.jasonmulgrew.com/
  
  Then I saw what he sent you and now know why I just beat him at baseball, beat him last year at football, and am beating him again in football and pick em leagues. And after all your explanations (which were right by the way), it comes down to one thing. I have McNabb on my team and am in 1st place, and he does not and is in 2nd place. McNabb = MVP for me
  
  P.S. Fuck T.O.* Go Philly.
  (see attached picture)
  
  Plus, you should have totally stopped by and watched him bang his girlfriend on your way from Seattle to California, because they are broken up now (surprise, surprise) and you would have made a great camera man. AND THAT, would be worth the case of Ruby Ale I still owe him for getting mentioned on your site. That fucker.
  -Erik (Longview, WA)
  *And if you are going to hell for hating T.O., make sure you are first in line.
• I fucking hate you Gus and plan on breaking into your house and removing your eyeballs with a rusty melon-ball maker when you are sleeping. Bitch.
  -Nate
• Now I feel some self-worth. I rock.
  -Erik
• Hey, if pushing other people down makes you feel better about yourself, you should hang out with Ahn more often. Rusty melon-ball scoopers. Think about it.
  -Nate
• Wow, you regularly correspond with a quasi-celebrity. I use to run into a bulimic cheerleader at the gym every now and then.
  -Ryan
• to: Jason Mulgrew,
  Been reading your blog for a long time now, I've never felt the need to write an email. For some reason though, when I saw Nate from Longview's statement that Manning is better than McNabb this year, I wanted to puke.
  That guy must be one of the biggest losers in Washington State. At the risk of losing stupid readers, you shouldn't allow people like Nate to write in anymore. Well, maybe that's a bad idea because then you would be left with 1 reader, an 80% drop in readers.
  In closing, Nate from Longview, WA is a tool and never gets laid. You should cut him off.
  -Ryan from Seattle
• You my friend, are a prick.-Nate
• This is shaping up to be a pretty funny blog post...
  -Erik
• I'm assuming that you all are being pricks to me because you're jealous of my girth. Do you treat Garrett this way too?
  -Nate
• Yeah, I heard getting fucked by a tiny stump is awesome. It hits the sides baby, all 4 inches of it.
  -Erik
• Is that what your wife keeps telling you?
  -Nate
• Apparently that comeback never gets old.
  How about this one?
  No, that’s what your mom keeps telling me.
  -Erik
• Dude. That's just gross.
  -Nate

(And of course, that thought ends the chain. Or so I thought.)

October 5, 2006

• Thank you, Ryan. I will take this under advisement and will reach a decision in the next 7-10 days.
  Best,
  Jason Mulgrew
  www.jasonmulgrew.com
• HAHA!!!
  -Ryan
• That's hilarious.
  -Nate

(I sense a little sarcasm. I have tought Nate well)

• You would run into her more if you had a chili dog that she could scarf down and then laugh as she runs to the bathroom to put her finger down her throat
  -Todd

(obviously Todd is a little busy and slow on the chain)

• Smoot, if you gave me a chili dog I would puke too... oh wait, you're talking about a different type of chili dog.
  -Ryan
• So I am reading Jason Mulgrew's blog ...the shout out for N8, I don't see it, is he the kid texting Foley?
  -Todd
• It's on his post about Baseball and Football. Manning vs McNabb
  -Ryan
• I think Todd was joking that Nate is the masturbating kid. Nice.
  -Erik
• I just think Todd's kinda slow.
  -Nate
• Boys,
  take it easy. I was actually (secret) in Seattle and was in the Great Northwest in April and May of this past year. We've (secret), so I may be out there (secret). Lovely area. I'm not saying we should meet up, as I will be having sex in a hotel room (hopefully) the whole time, but I'm just throwing it out there because I really don't know how else to respond.
  Best,
  Jason Mulgrew
  www.jasonmulgrew.com