After about the 50th phone call from Willie since he left for San Fransisco, and the fact that he makes me laugh every time, especially at work when I need it, I have decided to chronicle some of the best one quotes, stories, and embarassing happenings that are his life.
6-6-06 (oohh, spooky)
Willie calls at 1:00 (for the 5th time today since I didn't answer 3 of those times)
(note, from now on in these stories, W is Willie, E is me, N is Nate)
E-What's up stalker?
W-He he, you busy? You at lunch yet?
E-Of course I'm busy. Too busy to go to lunch these days. What's up?
W-I hurt myself bad yesterday.
E-Oh yeah?
W-You know how people in China town only come up to your chest, or maybe chin if they are really tall? Well I was walking and talking on the phone, and all of a sudden I was stopped suddenly. I looked down and there was a waist high "no parking on this side of the street" sign. And then the pain hit me. It couldn't hit me in the leg, or the thigh, no...I't hit me right in the dick. Right about then I realized how much pain I was in and dropped to the ground. A little chinese guy walking behind me stopped to laugh, and between gasps, he asked if I was okay. I tried to get up and kind of walk it off...and then the real pain hit me and I dropped to the ground again.
E- (listening and laughing the whole time) That sucks man. Right in the junk is the worst.
W-I finally did get back up, go down one more time, then got up and hobbled off. The guy hadn't stopped laughing yet, but he was nice enough to make sure I was okay enough to walk away. And later when I took a pee, the end of my dick was all purple.
E-(I proceed to lose it) HA HA HA, I am totally putting this on the Blog.
W-Yeah, if I had a Vag, it would have hit me right in the camel toe.
E- So what are you doing now?
W-Going to see the new X-Men movie. And I am the geek who went by himself, and since there was a line for the 1:00 show, I got a ticket to the 1:30 show so I can get a good seat, and now I am by myself.
E-Are you that guy who talks on his cell phone during the pre-previews?
W-I wanted a good seat.
E-That's awesome. You should come home instead of hang in San Fran pretending to work. Then we could see it together.
W-That's okay. I'm gonna sit here and masturbate with my hurt dick.
E-(I lose it again) You have fun with that. I gotta go back to work.
Stay tuned for the futher adventures of Willie the wonder-friend.
(note: some of Willie's comments have been altered to make them funnier, and/or speed up the conversation, as he tends to talk about 3/4 speed unless he is drunk.)
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