The Mis-Adventures of Willie (vol 2)

I also have many stories of the infamous Erik B. Williamson. This is one I would like to share.
About a year ago Willie and my buddy Bailey and I headed down to the coast for Memorial Day weekend. The plan was to get extremely drunk and just have fun hangin out and hopefully meet some girls. We headed out of town on Friday afternoon on our way to Long Beach, Washington. It's about an hour and a half drive and I think Willie probably consumed somewhere near a half-rack on the way there. This is somewhat usual for Willie.
We rolled into town and secured a hotel for the evening. After that we walked out to a local hangout, the Long Beach Tavern or LBT as it's affectionately known. We hung out at the LBT for a couple of hours drinking pitcher after pitcher of Bud Light. By this time Willie's words were starting to slur a little bit. If you have ever drank with Willie you know that when his words start slurring, something fun is gonna happen.
We wandered down to the go-karts after the LBT. Probably not the best idea. The attendant at the go-kart track could tell Willie was drunk and warned us numerous times that if we "screwed around" on the track he would "kick us out for good". Wow. Not even a probation period, just done for good. Well I think we made it around the track three times before Willie started bumper-carring everybody else out there. I think Bailey got the worst of it, but Willie was also tradin paint with people we didn't know. Shortly thereafter, we were told to leave. I tried arguing that I wasn't being out of control like my buddy, but the attendant told me "You guys came in together, you're leaving together."
We decided our next stop should be another bar. Since there's only like four bars in Long Beach, the selection was pretty much limited, so we hit the closest bar to us, Nick's West where they don't care if you write long ass run-on sentences.
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BREAKING NEWS
I just got off the phone with Gus and he said that Willie called him, and although his dick is still purple, it doesn't hurt anymore.
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So we wandered into Nick's and found a nice place by the bar. The waitress stopped by, took our order for us and was back with our pitchers of beer in about three minutes. We start drinking and Willie almost immediately starts pounding his beers like they were shots. Outfuckingstanding! About fifteen minutes into our visit to Nick's, Bailey starts talking to a couple of ladies at the table next to us. And for once, he's actually talking to good looking girls. So I join in on the conversation and after about three minutes, one of the girls points to Willie and asks if he's alright. He was hunched over his beer, speaking gibberish to it.
I went back over to our table and started talking to Willie and he decided that he wants to wrestle. This happens on a fairly regular basis with him, and it means the end is usually pretty near. So as I'm trying to block his karate chops, I finish my beer so I can take his drunken ass back to the hotel.
We get to the hotel and he flops onto one of the beds and is out in like 2.5 giga-seconds. Giga-what? Giga-who? I make sure he's alright and head back to the bar.
Bailey is still chatting these girls up so I join back into the conversation. It is clear pretty early on that these girls are bitches. Bailey still chatting them up, hoping to pull something, but I start drinking again. After about another hour the girls decide they are leaving. We finish our beers and decide to hit one more bar before going back to the hotel. At this bar I proceeded to burn the fuck out of my lip. I will cover this in another post, because it is a fucking hilarious story.
Anyways, Bailey and I head back to the hotel and crash for the evening.
The next morning Willie is up at about 9.30. So Bailey and I get up and they decide to start drinking. We decide that we've had our share of Long Beach and agree to head over to Seaside, Oregon. It's about a 45 minute drive and during that time, Willie and Bailey decide to share a sixer of talls. It is going to be a good day.
We roll into Seaside at about eleven and decide to get a cocktail and some breakfast (or rut-fut if you're Willie's mom). We hit the closest bar and all order Bloody Mary's. Not any ordinary Bloody Mary's, but probably the tastiest Bloody Mary's evah. Willie decides to share this fact with all the people walking by the door on the sidewalk. "HEY Mister! You like Bloody Mary's? Cause these are the BEST in the World! Woooooooo! Bloody Mary's! Wooooooo!" or something along those lines.
We all finish our drinks and order another round. At that point the bartender informs Willie that he is cut off. Sweet Ass Candy. It's not even noon yet, and Willie's cut off. So he orders a coffee and Bailey and I have another Bloody Mary (they were the shit).
The rest of the day gets kind of hazy but I remember Willie going back to our hotel on two or three occasions and taking naps after getting cut off at different bars through-out the day. I think by the time it was all said and done he got cut off four different times. It was such an amazing display of drinking ability, that I don't think the likes of it will ever be seen again.