Being Hungover At Hottest Wedding Ever - Not So Good

So this past Saturday my good buddy Garrett got married. So I thought it would be a good idea to get wasted on Friday night*.
Actually I was planning on taking it easy on Friday but instead ended up shitfaced. The evening started off slowly, just hanging out at my place drinking some beers. Then my buddy Tosh showed up and the pace of the beer drinking picked up. About an hour or so after Tosh showed up, my friend T called me to invite us bowling with her and a couple of her friends. We accepted the invite and headed over to the bowling alley.
While bowling, the beers were going down real easy. We rolled two games and I put down a few of the Bud Light bowling pin bottles. Afterwards we headed over to T's house for a little chat with the coach. This is were the night gets blurry for me. I remember sitting on the couch watching something, but shortly thereafter was unconscious. T woke me up a little later and took me to my place.
I woke up Saturday morning to the miserable heat. Sometime during the morning, the power at my house went out. So my A/C (which is currently fucked up and doesn't work worth a shit) and my fans were all dead. This was just great for the hangover that I had acquired. Adding to my misery was the fact that my car was in my garage and I couldn't get it out due to the old-ass electric garage-door opener. So I was stuck home in the hell-like conditions.
After sitting around for about a hour, the power came back on. I turned on some tunes, showered and head out to run some errands. I stopped for lunch then head home and watched a movie while trying to stay cool. I know I said this earlier, but if you haven't seen Grandma's Boy yet, you should. Right Now. Seriously go watch it. Go.
My friend Val agreed to be my date for the wedding, and she called right as the movie was ending so I went and picked her up. I got to her apartment building and called her as I was turning around in her parking lot. She met me in the parking lot and looked absolutely amazing.
We arrived at the church about fifteen minutes before the ceremony was set to begin. And it was HOT. We waited in the lobby for some other friends to join us and visited with everybody while trying to stay cool. Everybody showed up and we were seated. By the time the wedding got started, I swear it was over 105 in that church. I was sweating profusely and thought that I might get ill. I was feeling like I might pass out from heat stroke. I looked over at Val and she laughed at me. Seated next to her were Erik and Abby, and Erik laughed at me too. I struggled but I made it through the wedding.
After the wedding I took Val to pick up her car (she had to work at 6 the next morning) and she followed me to my house to drop my car off. We stopped by Phil's house on the way to the reception and I played a game of 3 man with Phil, Veronica, Sara, Timmy, Jim and Shannon. After a couple of beers we were off to the reception.
As we were walking in to the hotel lobby were the reception was taking place, we could see a line coming out of the ballroom. It was the line for the food and it looked like about a fifteen minute wait. We skipped that and made our way into the ballroom to try to find a seat. I grabbed a beer and we wondered around looking for a table. We found the Guttormsens sitting at a full table, passed a couple of other friends sitting at another full table and finally got seated near the bride's family.
Val and I talked for a while and then noticed that the line for the food had somewhat died down. I left my sunglasses and beer on the table to show that somebody was sitting there and we went and took our place at the end of the line. At the end of the line while I was at the prime rib station, I glanced at our table and noticed an older lady sitting there. WTF? So I walked back over to our table and smacked the lady in the forehead with an elbow which knocked her to the floor. I dropped another elbow on her, knocking her out and pulled her into the coat check. That'll teach that bitch for taking my seat.
Actually we just made room for her to sit with us and ate our food. After eating I had a couple of more beers, some Crown that Erik slipped to me in a flask and even danced a little bit. Val left a little early since she had to work in the morning. I hung out a little longer, drinking another beer or so, and got a ride home from my buddy Jim.
The next thing I know, I'm waking up on my couch at 5 in the morning. What a wonderful evening.

Congratulations Garrett and Irina. May you live a long and happy life together.



* That was sarcasm Gus